The 22nd of Marchanuary

… or whatever the date actually is! I dropped blogging on the 20th March, just as life got super crazy with covid 19. Its now 5 months later so I thought I would try to revive this space and see if I can think of anything to write.

FYI, I can’t think of anything interesting to say…

I guess I should fill you in on what I went through over the last 5 months. Its probably similar to how a lot of people felt and continue to feel, but no harm in throwing another voice into the pot to remind you that whatever you felt and whatever you still feel, chances are you are not alone.

I found going into lockdown really tough to start. I was terrified of all the possibilities, being fully house bound with no freedom at all. We were lucky in England that even at the peak, we were lucky enough to be allowed one form of exercise per day, but that meant choosing between a nice walk with my little boy, or a run, as I was still working on couch to 5k at the time. Because James is considered a key worker, and had no need to shield, he was working at the office as normal. Due to family shielding and the guidance from the government, we lost childcare, therefore James had to change to working 4 days a week and I went down to 1 day per week. We were really lucky that work were so accommodating with us, and still are! This did mean however that 4 days of the week, I was isolated at home with my little monster with nowhere to go. I had great ambitions to start, I was going to do PE with Joe Wicks every day and do lots of crafts, games and activities. Less than a week in and I realised I had no motivation and was all about surviving for me.

Now, we are coming out the other side. Places are reopening, there are things to see and do, which is nice. Its also pretty scary. I struggle with social anxiety and my general anxiety disorder at the best of times, so to come out the other side of this is a tough one. I know I will achieve it, its just going to take lots of work to get my head back into the idea of going out, facing all the fears I have always had around it, plus all the fears of people not social distancing or following the procedures that are in place for everyone to stay safe.

I will probably look back and do something a bit deeper on the topic with info on what we did and didn’t do over the time, if I can get my head back into this!


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